I remember a girl who was about to take O’level exams saying to me bitterly during a class discussion. “Exams or not, my mother always expects me to help wash and get the meals ever evening. but if my brother as much as put a plate on the table, everyone falls about in admiration!” And it is true that men usually feel very noble indeed if they perform a few simple chore. Always on the assumption that it is not’ their job after all. ” Did you notice i’d taken our rubbish to the dustbin ” one husband asked his wife, seeking praise. And she replied. “well, i could say thank you but tell me just why it is all my rubbish in this little home we share and equally mess up?
Because boys are often not taught the basics of keeping a home going or make to feel the responsibility for it, they can always plead incompetence in later life – which is an easy way to slide out of things.
A Professor, Olumide Ajayi once describe his domestic responsibilities in a newspaper interview. “I have changed Nicholas’s (his son) nappies in a crisis. I am in fact not very helpful round the house not out all, out of principle, simple because i am not very good at it. It doesn’t come naturally, i can’t cook i am afraid, i can’t even boil an egg. In a sense, my wife sorts of run Nicholas. She is a much more of a managing character than i am. She tends to take the day to day decision. I think that’s true of most household, don’t you think?”
IT is a sorry comment in the build in bias of our social education that a man as highly intelligent as Olumide can admit quiet unashamedly in a public that he cannot even cook a simple meal: the assumption being of course, that such tedious chores do “come naturally” to women.
As novelist Margaret Drabble crisply put it “I no longer find it touching or amusing when men say they do not know how to boil an egg, it think it is damn silly.” For, she continued eating is one of the fundamental porocesses of human survival and not to teach boys how to prepare their own meal is actually handicapping by making them forever dependent on someone else, invariably, a woman to do it for them.
I have a brother, who when hungry would prefer to remain empty stomach until someone prepares the food. He thinks such domestic work belongs to the women and not him as a man.
Can you cook?