My shameful secret had eaten away at me for years. But I always knew the truth had to come out eventually. Everyone knows secrets have a horrible way of coming back to haunt you. Usually, when you least expect it. Certainly, the sordid secret in my past was the last thing on my mind as I went about me daily life.
About fifteen years ago I was the mother of two darling daughters and in a loveless marriage. It was also during this time that I became romantically involved with my sister’s son. We fell in love and our love-affair carried on undetected by our family members for about two year until I fell pregnant by him. Even though I was married, we both knew that my unborn baby was my nephew’s.Giving birth to our baby, I felt sick with fear.
Would my baby look like my nephew, or worse – be deformed? Thankfully our baby was healthy but does look a lot like my nephew. My husband thought the child was his and it was torture keeping my terrible secret for I was still in love with my sister’s son. For the past thirteen years I’ve been passing this child off as my husband’s and my nephew has during this time always stayed in the background.
I really felt sorry for him, knowing that my baby was his and not being able to acknowledge this fact.Even though my nephew and I did not resume our romance after the birth, I was still in love with him and has always been. But the past has a way of catching up with you.
One one night, about a year ago, we somehow got together again and this led to us having sexual intercourse again.Maybe I should have run away, but I was so glad to be with him again that I just melted into his arms, and succumbed to him. The sex with him was as pleasurable as it was nearly fifteen years ago and we have been together since then.
We are still in love now, as we were fifteen years ago.But now, the unexpected has happened. I have again fallen pregnant to my nephew. I am three months pregnant, and this time however, he refuses to disappear into the background as he did all those years ago, and this is moment I’ve dreaded all my life.He now feels that he can take care of me and our daughter. He wants me to leave my husband and move in with him with my three daughters. He also wants us to tell our daughter who her real father is.
This is not something I can face doing myself. We both realise that our family would never agree to this, and if the truth be told, I am too ashamed, too terrified how they’d react.But I cannot go through another fifteen years of lying to my husband, children, sister and mother.
What I am concerned about is how my daughter would react if she knew the truth? Would she blame me, hate me for not telling her?And my other two daughters – would they hate me for having an affair with their cousin?